HUM AAPKE HAIN KOUN
So after long I decided to review a stupid bollywood movie and friends suggested this legendary movie named “Hum Aapke Hain Koun”
A number of times friends and others suggested me to watch this legendary movie and write something on it. This one is also a cringeworthy sugarcoated pile of crap by Sooraj Barjatya so I needed courage to watch it.
The movie started showing a big family playing cricket and a pilla named Tuffy is their umpire. How creative.
Well shouldn’t expect a lot from Sooraj. As usual Salman Khan is named “PREM” A lot of unnecessary characters are introduced Bindu with her usual overacting.
Sanskaar King Alok Nath is uncle of Prem and his elder brother Rajesh who brought them up. I guess this was the start of his kanyadaani legacy and you can see him discussing his favorite thing “Rishta for his kids”.
That mama ji showed him a picture of the rishta girl and thiss was the most realistic thing in this movie. BA ke baad Biyaah kardia jana.
Dr Shashank of Sanjvani is the elder brother Rajesh and he is the sanskari son same as you witnessed him in HUM SAATH SAATH HAIN
They planned a visit to some place called Ramtekri to check that rishta because all the girls of their town died maybe.
Anupam Kher is the father of that prospective Rishta girl POOJA and her sister Nisha.
Madhuri is introduced roller skating around in her home. Maybe it was cool back then in the 90s
Nisha was introduced as a computer student but through out the movie she just danced around, was never seen around a computer and did nothing to be honest.
NAMES OF ALOK NATH
I don’t know why but Alok Nath is always given names like Kishenkaant, Ramkishen etc and never given a cool name like Arjun, Ravi, Aakash, Raj, Rahul etc. This time he is named Kailashnath.
The families met.
I can feel something fishy here. The way Alok is looking at aunty and asking if she recognized her I feel there was a daag daar maazi between them. You can zoom the pic and look into his eyes. Maybe I am wrong let’s see.
He revealed the purpose of his visit and each and everyone who knows Alok Nath can guess his aims and objectives. VIVAH and KANYADAAN.
The girls overheard the convo and were happy and seems to be talking dirty
See m not wrong. Madhuri looking at her like “Now you are gonna do that ghappa ghap thing and will tell me everything the next day”.
She took Rajesh to show her paintings but he kept looking for other views.
Salman and Madhuri were like Begani shadi mein Abdullah dewana
You will hate Salman in this movie the way you hated Saif Ali Khan in Hum Saath Saath Hain. Asking stupid questions making Dr. Shashank uncomfortable being all cringy.
Anyway the rishta finalized and the first song of this movie came “Wah Wah Ram Ji”
Suddenly I realized this movie is actually a video of pre and post wedding parties and the sugarcoated movie will go on like this. A few more useless characters were introduced for no reason. The comedy was so bad you should question your intelligence if you laughed even in 1994.
The samdhan requested Alok Nath with a sexy ada to sing something And she even blushed after that.
He adjusted something down there and started singing.
Just look at the hawas in his eyes while staring at his samdhan. Believe me I know the eyes of a darinda when I see one
The other character danced to get their cheques from Barjatya. Nobody is so happy meeting their samdhis. Ever saw someone so happy meeting their samdhis?
The shaadi day came.
Another useless character was introduced just to increase the runtime of the movie.
Pilla was appointed to secure the shoe from Joota Chupai.
We were blessed with another legendary song “Dulhay ki saalio haray dupattay walio”. All these scenes are so cheesy you will actually hate yourself for watching it.
The bidaai scenes lasted for like a lifetime.
No mention of suhaag raat was made and the next day she was asked to play cricket with them.
Rajesh looked at his wife in a way to remind her of what’s gonna happen every night. Even she looked back the same way.
That Pilla wass the umpire again.
Within like 30 minutes we were given 3-4 songs and this one was amazing in its own unique way
Dhik Tana Dhik Tana Dhik Tana
Bhabhi tum khushion ka khazana.
Salman acted all creepy pervert and exactly the way which can attract the rage of feminists now.
Pooja became pregnant and the khandan acted all chichora now.
Pooja’sfamily was asked to visit and stay with them so Madhuri was also happy as she was gonna meet the pervert there. See I told you that you won’t find this computer student studying anything but dancing all the time.
Another song. DAMN. That’s like 7th one till now.
One more thing I told you. This movie is a pre and post wedding video.
The goud bharai celebrations started and Barjatya dragged the event for like 15-20 mins.
Another song “Didi tera dewar dewana”. This was not a movie. This was a cheesy musical.
Immediately after this song Pooja delivered a baby and Barjatya delivered the second version of Dhik Tana Dhik Tana
This painting of Daisy by Madhuri actually inspired Leonardo Da Vinci and others
Around 2 hours and 30 mins of this movie was covered with useless celebrations and parties. They played passing the pillow and each and everyone playing was so irritating you will actually want to kill Barjatya this time for his direction.
There was one more song but let’s just ignore that and move to some important areas.
Prem told his bhabhi that he likes her sister and she immediately agreed to get them married. Obviously why wouldn’t she? Both sisters will do RAAJ on that ghar getting all the jaidaad. Clever
Pilla was also there watching all the melodrama and they looked at him like “is kuttay ki bhi kitni kuttay wali zindagi hai Sooraj Barjatya ke haath lag gaya”.
Pooja suddenly fell from stairs and died.
Nisha started taking care of her sister’s baby (only in good faith).
INJUSTICE WITH MOHNISH BEHL
I personally feel Barjatya has some kinda grudge with Mohnish Behl. He killed his wife here and made in a tunta in Hum Saath Saath Hain.
Now he was coming to the point. Giving hints like “Munnay ke liye sauteli maa nahi lana chahta”.
Kher again offered her daughter like she was some kinda bojh. Why couldn’t he understand the concept of CONSENT?
Prem was shocked imagining his brother and ghappa ghap with Nisha
Rajesh immediately agreed and was like BEHNAIN DE MUJHE BEHNAIN DE.
Nisha thought she was getting married to Prem but after reading the invitation card she found out the truth. I don’t understand cards ki zarurat kya thi. Dusri shadi kar raha hai saadgi se kar letay.
They talked on phone and decided they will give qurbani.
The shadi day came and again dhoom dharakka on 2nd shadi jab armaan puray ho chukay to iski kya zarurat.
She wrote a letter to return the gift of Prem and handed it over to pilla to deliver it to Prem.
DOG OF THE MATCH
The bitch was an umpire but now acted like a love guru and handed it over to Rajesh.
He immediately summoned a JIT. He acted full bitchy and gave the letters to all the buddhay people insulting the couple.
See how embarrassed Nisha was.
Anyway putting patthar on his dil he backed off from the marriage and asked them to marry each other. He knew Sooraj Barjatya won’t give him a normal life or ending so let’s just compromise with whatever he is giving.
The useless characters delivered the few dialogues they were allotted.
The celebrations begun again. That pilla is the MAN OF THE MOVIE.
The movie ended after 3 hours and 26 minutes. I would like to apologize for wasting your time. Bye
Dhik Tana Dhik Tana Dhik Tana
Bhabhi tum khushion ka khazana
Dhik Tana Dhik Tana Dhik Tana
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